Have you ever met a person who exudes self-assurance? You can tell by how they carry themselves, converse with others, and even how they dress.

Self-confidence is a character trait that many people struggle with. Not everyone is secure in their own skin. But what causes such low self-esteem?

Unfortunately, self-confidence deteriorates over time. One snide remark or a minor setback in life can devastate anyone’s self-esteem.

However, just because you lack confidence does not mean you can’t regain it! It will be difficult and time-consuming, but you can regain your confidence!

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What Exactly Is Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is difficult to define and is frequently confused with self-efficacy and self-worth.

Self-confidence is defined by the University of South Florida as an individual’s attitude toward their abilities, skills, judgments, beliefs, and goals.

When a person is confident, he or she is aware of his or her own strengths and weaknesses and is capable of handling day-to-day challenges gracefully. They are able to handle and accept criticism from others while moving forward.

The Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

So, what happens if you’re lacking in confidence or self-esteem? Low self-esteem has a far greater impact on your life than you may realize. Your quality of life may be suffering as a result!

When you lack self-assurance:

-You may experience a variety of fears, such as a fear of failing or a fear of being judged.
-You may be having relationship problems because your low self-esteem prevents you from standing up for yourself when others mistreat you.
-You may overcompensate for a lack of confidence by attempting to be perfect all of the time.
-You may find it difficult to deal with life’s difficulties. As a result, you may feel hopeless.
-Your self-care routine may suffer as well.
-You might be prone to self-harm (drinking, drugs, eating disorders, self-harm)

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The Roots of Lack of Self-Belief

Every person’s reason for lacking confidence is unique. A single occurrence does not always result in a lifetime of low self-esteem.

A lack of confidence is frequently the result of a series of events that occur over time. While not every cause is included in this list, the following are some of the more common ones:

-Parents or other authoritative figures who are overly critical
-Inadequate academic performance
-Abuse of women in the past
-Medical problems that reoccur
-Anxiety or depression
-Ongoing life stressors, such as financial problems

With these factors in mind, keep in mind that low self-esteem is frequently the result of personal life trauma.

Those with low confidence should not be considered weak; they have experienced past hurts that have contributed to their lack of confidence. You never know what each person’s personal story is.

Symptoms of a Lack of Confidence

A lack of confidence does not always manifest itself in the same way in every individual. Some people may be better at concealing their lack of confidence than others, while others may be unaware of their own lack of self-esteem.

Signs of low self-esteem include:

-Using the word “sorry” a lot
-Negative thoughts or statements about yourself
-Believing that others are superior to you
-Not recognizing your accomplishments and concentrating solely on your failures
-Refusing to accept compliments
-Shame, sadness, or feelings of unworthiness

Mindfulness is a practice that can help you boost your self-esteem.  Mindfulness is a type of meditation exercise. However, it is not the same as traditional meditation.

You can practice mindfulness by doing the following:

-Be present in the moment by seeking out simple pleasures around you.

-Accept yourself as you are. All flaws and all!

-When you’re feeling unsure, concentrate on your breathing. This allows you to concentrate and reframe your thoughts about yourself.

-Use visualization to achieve your objectives.

Set objectives

Not just any goals, but small, attainable goals! Something wonderful happens when you set small goals for yourself every day to complete tasks around you…

You start to feel proud of yourself! You’re proud of even the smallest steps you’ve taken to improve yourself and your day.

Begin by writing down small goals that you know you can achieve. Choose a task that is not too difficult for you, but be specific in your objectives. Instead of “clean house,” write “pick up clothes from closet.” These small objectives are far more attainable!

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Experiment with positive affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements that begin with the letter “I.” They can help you change your thought process over time.

Repeating positive affirmations as part of your daily routine will gradually begin to reframe your thinking about yourself. You can create your own affirmations statements or find and download them online.

Show yourself some love

When you have low self-esteem, you may find that your self-care suffers from time to time. It’s not your fault, and self-care may suffer as a result of low self-esteem, meeting the needs of others, such as children, and not leaving the house as frequently as you should when working from home.

I’ve been there before. I understand! However, self-care is essential!

Let’s try something different… Choose one self-care activity per day to pamper and treat yourself! Take a bath. Blow-dry and style your hair. Treat yourself to a facial. Exercising for at least 20 minutes is recommended.

It makes no difference if no one sees you. What matters is that you see yourself in the mirror and you look BEAUTIFUL! It’s more important that you like yourself than what others think of you!

Find a pastime

Negative thoughts about yourself can arise from boredom at times. When we are bored and do not have an activity or a hobby to do, we do not feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from being good at something.

Check out this list of indoor hobbies to start today if you want to feel that sense of accomplishment by learning a new skill or doing a new activity that will then become a hobby.

Display self-compassion

I’m not talking about self-care when I say self-compassion. Self-compassion is a method of better treating yourself in order to improve your mental health. It is about forgiving yourself for past mistakes and allowing yourself to move on from them so that your past does not influence your future.

Self-compassion also entails being gentler on yourself when you make a mistake. Instead of dwelling on a mistake, try to forgive yourself and move on.

Don’t let others talk down to you

Have you ever received a sarcastic remark? Or is it just a crude remark? Someone talking down to you, belittling you, or making disparaging remarks about you is NEVER acceptable.

It makes no difference whether the perpetrator is a coworker or a family member. Nobody deserves to feel bad about themselves because of what others say about them. While we’d all like to follow the rule, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all…”

Unfortunately, that is not how the world works.

Although you are not required to scream or hit another person in order to defend your character, appearance, or skills, you are also not required to remain silent. Rude people will continue to make rude comments about you because you are not standing up for yourself. It’s past time to change that.

Don’t let anyone talk down to you. If they continue to do so, you should leave the situation and walk away.

Get rid of toxicity

Along with defending ourselves against rude people and comments, there are times when we simply need to trim the fat from our lives. People who are toxic because of their fat!

If you’re not sure whether you’re in a toxic relationship with someone (including a family member), read THIS ARTICLE to learn more.

A toxic relationship has a significant impact on our self-esteem. If you spend enough time with someone who is toxic, you will notice that their negativity will rub off on you.

You may discover that simply removing a toxic person from your life is sufficient to boost your self-esteem!


Loving yourself can be hard at times.  Life has a tendency to bring us down.  Past relationships and how others treat us factors into our perception of ourselves.

But if you’re tired of thinking negatively and not loving yourself while everyone in your life comes first, it’s time for a change!  You deserve to put yourself first for a change and love yourself for who you are and who you are becoming.  A more strong, beautiful, and confident woman!

Now, it’s time to get starting boosting yourself confidence by trying some of the above tips to help you rediscover yourself and how amazing you are!